Fifty Shades of Puliyo-Grey

Spoon Plates

Puliyogreys have been the part and parcel of every tambrahm upbringings that never cease to be the standard dinner even in the recent times. Those summer holiday epochs of our childhood have always ushered me to the specific timeline where the childhood memories remains intact with such pleasantly unpleasant endeavors.

Those were the summer holiday times at my aunt’s place when P’greys were of abundant supply from the temple. The two families would nonchalantly consume just the voluptuous plates of P’greys for dinner. I would like to mention that the alchemy of making P’greys with excessive tamarind and peanuts does magical things to you at night. If your system doesn’t accept the proportion, then you might have to take a couple of strolls to the loo to cache clean the exorbitant intake.

The hunger which is predominantly dominant before the consumption of this masochistic concoction nevertheless gets conquered at the end of process.

It evokes a sense a deep submission to some unknown force which drops the serotonin levels engulfing us to a nice Trans state called sleep!

***

Train or bus journeys have never been complete without the hawkers distributing food packets and frequenting the compartments with open carton full of Fruti-s and Fanta-s and Lays.

And then there are packets of P’greys with unknown source of supply. More worrying factors that might interest you are the eerie sense of wetness in the highly yellow tinted rice with generous quantity if oils, packed in plain patrawalies wrapped in newspapers.

The major problem with such crowded travel is the fear of flatulence. You never know what the other person is capable of and then there is intensity and sustenance levels which defines the devastation quotient of every human being.

Your olfactory sense never fails you. A stich in time might save nine, but a ‘fizz’ in time might kill nine and a stronger one can kill more!

***

The other day, when I was in the cafeteria, scanning the caterers on the floor, to get something for lunch, I stumbled upon this interesting combo menu where we can choose one main dish with couple of other auxiliary add-ons. The best thing about some companies are the offshore offices which are lavishly built and air conditioned along with plethora of options to get yourself nicely fed when hunger sends you SOS calls.

So my instinct driving me to go for Combo 4 menu comprising of what the nomenclature claims it to be a variety rice. The adds-ons include a series of wet and dry additives to aid the process of eating the main dish. Presence of butter milk in the list was some respite. After conducting an algorithmic computation in my mind to opt for this menu, I decided to join the queue to acquire a token for the same. This sounds all technical but believe me it’s all simple!

I joined the queue where my position was quite far away from the card swiping machine guy. The worst part of depending on the cafeteria food for lunch. Either you have to hit the cafeteria early or better come late. Sticking to this logic has both its advantages and disadvantages. Unless an early hunger strikes, you won’t be able to hit the Food Court early and if you are devastatingly hungry right in the middle of the day, late lunch can spoil your lunch time badly.

I didn’t want to steer my thoughts to such formula, hence I had to give in to the peek time rush. As the queue was progressing at snail’s pace, my hunger too was at waning phase. The guy at the desk was fishing the dried pond for 10s and 20s to be returned to the hungry fellow employees. Unperturbed by such peak time adversaries, I had taken a vow to conquer the combo plate before the hunger conquers me, holding all my perseverance strong as grit. I felt like a warrior!

After an arduous wait of twenty odd minutes, I was able to acquire the token which will fetch me the heavenly plate of variety rice.

Sometimes, testing one’s patience happens at all places more than the testing one’s code. There was another line at the food dispensing counter. I picked up a plate and joined the queue again. As I was moving forward, it took me a couple of seconds to realize that, two of the containers which had those variety rice in colorful display were beginning to reveal their bottoms. With every one person ahead of me yielding their plate, the containers had started making those squawking noise. Yes, the sound of serving spoons scratching the bottom of the vessel.

The horror struck me when someone barged in the middle of the line thereby increasing the probability of getting my plate not served.

Sometime, more than the reality, our gut feeling always helps us to overcome failure. By the time I handed over my token to the counter guy and with my last hope, I uttered those words

“Variety Rice…”

This guy nodded his head left and right showing me the empty vessel in the front. The worlds around me failed unceremoniously when two other guys came and yanked those two vessels from the serving counter, and walked away into the kitchen.

Life is full of options if you reckon. So I asked the guy for other options if this is not served. He with his least of his interest to feed me, agreed to check and come back. There is something called ‘refill’ which no one cared to do.

Convincing myself to have whatever available for consumption, I nodded my head. He said, he will give extra fryums in the plate to compensate my loss of faith in humanity. After waiting for couple of minutes with my eyes locked on every plate that came out of the kitchen, my guy marched forward with a plate full of fryums. Bewildered to see only fryums in the plate, I removed two three fryums, to find a morsel of colored rice heap nicely snuggled under the fryums. Before I could realize what I have been blessed with, with all the bewilderment and grief, I lifted my head and stammered pointing my fingers on the plate.

He said those magical words, “Puliyogrey” and walked away in glory.

Irrespective of whatever debaucheries that people find themselves into, there is always salvation – CURD RICE

***

See what I found

The other day when I was cleaning my room, I caught hold of some old things stocked up in my top shelf. Now that they have been unearthed, it made me think the times we have crossed. The times, we didn’t have access to things that made life easier, the times, ‘knowing’ Computers was all that jazz. Google was only a search engine.

Then this thing ‘Floppy’ which we carried around everywhere like how we carry 1TB external hard disk these days. It is so amazing to realize that our technological urge didn’t go beyond 1.44 MB worth of data. What else do we carry around in a floppy? A softcopy of the resume to be sent to the employer or a powerpoint presentation to be presented for a college seminar. That’s all!

But now, pen drives and hard disks are full of data with no free space, but our desires are still unfilled. With the emerging trends in the cloud storage, Google Drive, One Drive, Dropbox and iCloud are doing their part to help seamless availability of data.

Continue reading

Toothbrush (Tamil)

Toothbrush

மஞ்சள் வெய்யிலின் நிறத்துக்கு ஈடாக நான் சாப்பிட்டுகொண்டிருந்த லெமன் சாதம் பளபளத்துக்கொண்டிருக்க,நான் அதை வெறித்தனமாக கபளீகரம்செய்து கொண்டிருந்ததை அந்த ரயிலின் உள்ள அனைத்து பயணிகளும் கண் இமைக்காமல் பார்த்துகொண்டிருந்த அந்த கண்கொள்ளா காட்சியை வர்ணிக்க எனக்கு வாய் இல்லை.அவ்ளோ பசி. வாய் முழுவதும்சாதம். தொட்டு கொள்ள உருளைக்கிழங்கு சிப்ஸ் பாக்கெட் வாங்கினது ரொம்ப சௌகர்யமாக இருந்தது.

ஒரு அரை மணி நேரமாக,மானை புலி வேட்டை ஆடுவதுபோல் நான் சங்கீதா ஹோட்டலில் வாங்கிய பார்சலை வேட்டை ஆடி கொண்டு இருந்தேன். இரவு சாப்பாடு இனிதே சுபம் அடைந்ததை கொண்டாடும் விதமாக, பையில் வைத்து இருந்தஆரஞ்சு பழச்சுளைகளை உள்ளே தள்ளி விட்டு, உலகமே அதிரவைக்கும் படியாக ஏப்பத்தை விட்டதும் தான் என்னை சுற்றி இருந்த உலகமே எனக்கு புரிந்தது. திருச்சி ஸ்டேஷன் நாளை காலை 5 மணிக்கு வரும் என்று அம்மா சொல்லி இருக்க, காலை சூரியனை கூட கண்டிராத எனக்கு ஐந்து மணிக்கு முழிப்பது என்பது பிரம்ம பிரயத்னம்.

Continue reading

Man of Steel (2013) – A thoughtful review

Man of Steel Review

Superheroes do not evolve, they are born!

He doesn’t need technology, he doesn’t need accessories, he never acquired one but rather he is inherent with it. The man is born with the powers and meant to be with the humans and he is nonetheless the Man of Steel – The Superman!

Having been a fan of superman from the very childhood, the S shield and the red cape never ceased to fascinate me with its grandeur and emotions that it evokes. Such a profound feeling that every superman fan needs to undergo can never be expressed in writing. After having watched Batman and the revamped Dark Knight series, I was sure this MOS is going to be a visual and a mental treat. But never knew that, this movie would actually make you unleash your madness for Superman in an amplified modus.

Every superhero has been evolved to a have story spun around them but this man himself is a story to tell, which itself makes him the greatest superhero ever born to be the best. He is human and an alien with unfathomable powers. He defies all laws of physics. There is nothing that can hurt him or there is nothing that can get him hurt. He is fire-proof; he can lift the whole aircraft and can lift a huge mass of land. There are no bounds for his powers. He is unbounded by the boundaries. He can fly just like a bird without the need for any propulsion or a flying device. But even then he is more human than a superhuman nested with feelings.

Quite things have been transformed from the earlier superman to Man of Steel. The so called legendary red brief is no longer a symbol in the suit. The superman fans can now not be embarrassed by wearing that brief over the costume. A more contemporary suit has been given to him. A renaissance has been brought to the plain blue suit which the Man of Steel is now adorned with a matte finished one with darker shades of blue. It seems it’s the trend now to have matte finish and darker shades in the superhero costumes; the new Spiderman too has a similar one!

The movie conveyed a lot more than what it was trying to show. Every man would be pushed to extremities and calamities. You may be destined to somewhat greater responsibilities than what you had assumed. The purpose of your life may seem bleak, but there is always a greater good to you and the people around when you try to understand the niceties. You may not get what you wanted but what you choose to be with will lead you to softer corners of your life.

It’s your choice that matters which will show you the choice of your life and the decision to be with those choices proves how strong you are and one needs to reach their extremes to know them well. Sometimes more than your own personal interest, you got to make people around you happy. Problems are everywhere; you are the one to find the solution as there is no problem that will leave you in deep debris. There is always hope which will keep you going on and on and on. And that ‘S’ shield in the vest is a symbol of hope; it’s not an ‘S’ in the world of Krypton but a symbol for betterment of the people around you.

Many may feel the scenes of Man of Steel are so unrealistic, but those people are forgetting the basic fact that this is not just a movie about a superhero rather it’s the Superman movie. He can do things which no other super heroes can do because he never acquired powers, but he is born with it. The enthrallment that one gets seeing those bullets kissing the ground miserably failing to pierce, the fire that leaves no stones unturned in him, the weapons and ammunitions that puts down its powers in shame in-front of this man cannot get more orgasmic than any roller coaster ride.

The time when he realizes that he is not just a man with super powers but he is someone with a history behind him, he gets his real suit and his experiment with his ability to fly to greater bounds, looks like someone lost his control and is set to run amok in the sky but more than himself during such trials, it’s for us which rushes our adrenaline and thrusts its lever to an extremely high spell bounding experience which makes us hallucinate that we ourselves flying in such velocity.

The stunning visuals and CGs not only make the scenes visually enriching but also causes quite an amount of damage to the city’s properties – buildings, sky scrapers, houses, roads, railways, trains and heavy vehicles are thrashed like papers. Man! The duels are devastating, with them levitating in the midair, banging on to each other, crashing into buildings and uprooting them, shoving Railway Engines, vestibules and trucks on each other like toys, burning monuments and places to debris. Our superhero is thrown into rubbles and whacked to nothing and circumvented by military fighter planes and copters. But nothing can sort him fall. He stands again and gives them back unhurt and with more vigor proving to be the real man of steel.

Well, irrespective of being a superhero or not. Everyone has a weakness that makes them so fragile. Our superman too has a weakness. The kryptonite that makes him powerless and weak, that fails him miserably doesn’t pull him down for ever to the ground but it just tells him that he needs to be strong always to protect himself from the enemies. It’s not the weakness that this man prevails in but leaps into perseverance and strong will to regain his powers and crosses planets with a sonic boom to face them with regained strength.

Superman can never fall. Superman can never fail. Superman can never halt. Superman can never be at fault. Because…

Superman is a real superhero!

Rating: There is no rating. Go watch it because it’s a Superman movie!

***

Please let me know if you have any questions

Please let me know if you have any questions

How innocent this statement looks but don’t sink in to the deception, I will assist you to be aware of the ramifications that this statement may lead to. Having worked in IT industry for enough long years, I’ve acquired the tacit cognizance not only to read in between the lines of emails but also to penetrate into it and sectumsempra the whole thing to extract the intended insinuation.

Well, after having composed and in the process of composing oodles of corporate emails to immediate bosses, clients, users, teams, alien teams and acquaintances sitting oceans far away or as close as in the next cubicle, I had to admit that, the monotony of this phrase is more nuzzled than the mere obligation of it. Every time I finish composing an email, I feel something is missing in the whole email draft and suddenly realize that, the parting shot misses the most worshipped phrase ‘Please let me know if you have any questions’ and so I diligently type it out at the end of the body which gives a sense of completeness to the email, like that of the holy ‘Thachi Mammu’ at the end of a heavy South Indian meal.

Few use this statement just for the sake of it. Few use it just to sound concerned. Few use it to feel complete (Complete Man – Raymond’s!). Few use it just to be careful and get a feeling of being in the crowd and not left out. Only few choose to know the real meaning of it and act accordingly.

Though this invites ‘further communication’ from the recipient, sometimes it doesn’t invite at all. When your manager sends an email with such a parting shot, some choose to stick to ‘I don’t have any questions’ mode to avoid any repercussion of their flushed out eccentricities. Some actually have things to say and so they immediately run their fingers on the keyboard as if running it against one’s girlfriend’s contours, ramming the keyboard to an extent that the keys go weak in their knees and beg your sympathy, shedding copious amount of audible tears. These species never fail to end their reply with the same blessed phrase of, ‘Ohh please god damn, let me know, if you gosh have, any freaking questions!’

This gets so monotonous at some point of time that you actually choose to ignore this and end the email blatantly with main content. You feel so bored even to take questions from the other end. Sometimes, it will be so boring day that, you actually wish no one comes back with any questions. You may want to keep the tone of the email as concerned as possible but ignoring this phrase might end up as if you are not so involved in the task at hand. So you invariably end up putting that phrase at the end of the email and silently pray all Gods one by one wishing the recipients to be as lazy as you. Some strategically compose such emails towards the end of the day, and press the button SEND SEND SEND for each draft consecutively in quick succession… like pressing the trigger of the MG3 7.62mm machine gun so that they don’t have to wait for the reply and can always check the next day.

Sometimes, the content of the email would be so small but still people prefer to make it wholesome with this phrase.

Sample this,


Hi Ben,
The report is sent.
Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks & Regards,
Hey I am the Please-let-me-know-if-you-have-any-questions lover

Yes I admit, this phrase can be email filler. It makes the email appear as if the content is huge and it is trying to convey quite a lot of information sarcastically.  So the above email with the phrase can connote:

Hey Ben, Hope you received the crappy report which you asked me to send. Dude, this gotta be crazy, it’s just a simple report which you might have generated yourself. It’s just two minutes of effing mouse click and I gotta log this task in my timesheet since you had sent it to me. I would have probably grabbed an ‘Egg Puff’ in the pantry by the time I logged into the ftp client sitting at the remote machine or rather I would have taken two three sips of Bru coffee with the Sunfeast Marie Light Oats Biscuit.

Anyway, don’t get back to me with any sorta questions or whatever. Do ping me, if am free I’ll reply. I gotta go. Ciao!

Got that?

Well, it does convey such deep meanings in a single line.

In other cases some dread the usage of such phrase during critical times.


Hi <the-most-admired-person>,

As discussed two centuries back (Read – two days back), I’ll be on leave till Tuesday.

Please let me know if you have any questions. (*Sincerely prays God and touches black color while typing this email which would evade all evil eyes and brings good luck*)

Thanks & Regards,
Hey I am afraid to use Please-let-me-know-if-you-have-any-questions dude.

People dread this phrase I say. What if your boss changes the mind and only because you have mentioned ‘Please let me know if you have any questions’, he/she gets back to you with – ‘Well, can you cut down your leave by a day and be back to office by Monday?’. In order to avoid all such ill fate, few gallop away from this dreadful phrase and try not to make it more obvious to get back to them.

This statement has gained corporate attention, since it conveys quite a lot of emotions than a Kathak dancer!


Hi <some-poor-fella>

I cannot approve your release as the metrics in the DOSA dashboard cannot reach 201% compliance without your humble presence. Innovation in the lines of Ghee Dosa, Onion Rava would go bleak if you don’t make yourself available before the dough kneading Tool.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks,
Parotta Master


This dreadful phrase in the above email conveys some simple things without being explicitly declared. First, dude you are screwed, trash your release request. Second, how can you get released when you are the only one taking care of this DOSA module? Having an IDLI person for a DOSA can lead to change in the DOSA parameters which can affect the quality of the deliverables. And finally, now I think you don’t have any questions to ask!

Indigenous use of this phrase has made oneself more competent in the lines of the prudent usage of this phrase. Some acquire this skill to use it at the right time. Six Sigma Green Belt Certifications are not necessary to master the technique of such usage. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar who preaches ‘Art of living’ has decided to impart this niche skill to everyone in his spiritual masses.

I also notice that this ‘Please let me know if you have any questions’ culture has deeply penetrated into the young minds and they have started believing that it is some sort of customary ritual that is being followed in the project. They have started appending it to every other email they are sending out. It becomes the email mantra. They chant this at the end of every email.

Lastly I heard from one of my friends that, someone made a blasphemous use of this statement and it was being circulated only among the near and dear ones in the company in the form of forward emails.

The email read:


(Names have been changed to protect the identity & dignity of the email sender)

Dear <sincere-girl-who-works-in-my-project>,

Many more happy returns of the day!

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks & Regards,
Very-Very-Very-Busy-Boss


Alright, so I have decided to create an e-learning material on this industry buzz phrase which will be of greater help for the freshers and laterals who join the company. I hope I made myself clear.

Please let me know if you have any questions!

Thanks & Reg….Ohhh sigh! Cut the crap!

Chalo then. Bubye!