Do Not Disturb

Even when the whole world goes berserk out of economic turbulence or a sudden onset of apocalypse or even a nuclear holocaust, some blessed lazy souls never give a tiniest of a botheration during their half draped blanket and a humming AC, cradling them to an eternal sleep on a Saturday morning. On one such occasion of my serendipity in travelling to far off places with chicks around, I felt a sudden tap on my bums, yanking me into the naked reality from my dream, flipping me to my back, left me gaping at the ceiling fan which gave me back an irate stare. Only moms have special privileges on their kids to tap on such ‘awww’ places.

My mom in her mission to shoo away the sleep monster, had her presence in my room equipped with broomstick. Her innate ability to wake me up was commendable. It was 10.30 am when I felt it’s too early to bid adieu to my bed. We spend most of our ‘precious’ time in bed, sometimes in the couch and the in dining table. I felt such preciousness is less valued by moms and dads when they wake you up for getting Odonil or Urid Dal from the nearby departmental store on a Saturday morning.

This time it was a different scenario altogether. I disengaged myself from my bed, brushed my teeth, performed my morning ablutions sincerely, drank Boost flipping the pages of TOI (Yes, I read TOI and I can still tell you that Pranab Mukherjee is the recent president of India, Mary Kom won bronze in the ongoing Olympics for India and also discriminate between the amount of fairness ranging from lowest value of school uniform washed in Tide Detergent to the extremities of Anushka Sharma’s underarms, courtesy Nivea White, without reading The Hindu newspaper!)

I kick started my bike and my dad hopped into the pillion seat.

***

As I parked my bike in front of the old dilapidated building situated in the intricate corners of the road, with murky waters by its side, bearing the name board – Life Insurance Corporation of India, I recollected the number of times I had asked my dad to open an online account in the bank for the ease of all financial transactions. I still go blitzkrieg on the idea of standing in the long queue in a building with puddle walls and messy counters.

The large hall was uncomfortably pregnant with umpteen number of paper files all over the tables, old computers running Widows XP with CRT monitors, the noisy fans suspended from the high ceilings, bespectacled large bindi, nose-ringed women, men in their dullest of the formal shirts and pants with slippers, their forehead adorned with markings of all colors covering most of the wavelength of a light spectrum – connoting their religious inclination towards all gods, caged in each counters with stuttering printers and monitors, counting the currency notes – frequently salivating them for friction. My dad appended himself in one of the queues and I was asked to join another – age old technique to advance faster in the concurrent queues!

I sometimes wondered the advancement of IT in our country and its reach to common man. My own dad was a standing example of how few people are still not comfortable with the IT and other utilities. One online banking account and one debit card – could have solved this weekend agony. I was slowly advancing in the queue and my dad was still in the same position in the other one. I had never given company to my dad for such visits. He still does all the electricity bill payment, Insurance premium or sometimes money withdrawal by paying a visit to the offices/banks located in the oldest of the buildings in the city.

“Why don’t you just pay it online using net banking or Debit card payment?” This must be my all time declarative mood when in confrontation with my dad on such matters. “I don’t know how to use it”, should be my dad’s all time reply when in confrontation with me on such matters.

As I handed over the cheque along with the premium payment letter to the lady in counter, with the details of the premium such as the policy number, policy maturity date, amount assured and next date of premium payment etc etc and etc, she gave a quick look into the letter noting down the policy number and started updating my details in the computer having a policy management software which had the boring grey application interface developed in Visual Basic 6. I know they couldn’t afford to procure softwares developed by CMMI level 5 firms. Such is life in government offices.

LIC premium successfully paid.

***

As I entered my room after an hour drive, in the scorching sun of 1.00 pm, I released myself from the Tee and jeans, leaving me just in my jockey, in front of the mirror. What I witnessed in the mirror couldn’t match euphoric cosmic display of celestial bodies.

Half of my arms covering the elbows to the fist have taken a dark form compared to the other covered regions of my body. Exactly at the point where my Tee’s sleeve ends, I could find a clear demarcation line. The skin tone above the line heading to my shoulders and the torso were as clear as milk (!) – Fair and flawless. The region below the sleeve line including the elbows, leading to my wrists and fingers were dark and shadowy. It looked as if I had dipped both my hands into a drum full of black paint, just above my elbow and had pulled it back. The afternoons are just effing hot that it tans your skin so badly and now I have to keep my sleeves covered for a week or so to get back the uniform distribution of my skin tone in the arms (Yes, guys too worry about this at times!) I didn’t want to feel like a zebra when roaming around in any of tam-brahm functions topless!

I’ve decided to wear my full sleeved Tee whenever I go out in the day time.

***

With advancement in the technology, there should be a better way to convince parents to chuck off the age old methods of financial transaction by filling out challans to withdraw money and to deposit in cheque to transfer money to someone and maintaining a passbook for all those transactions. The ease of net banking and fund transfers should be imparted to them somehow. Though I strictly adhere to internet for almost everything  – booking tickets – for bus or a movie, to transfer and receive money from friends or colleagues, I am somehow finding it a herculean task to cascade it to my parents as they are so insecure about the online frauds and malpractices. Thanks to the Dina Malar, Dina Thanthi, Mangayar Malar tamil dailies/monthlies which inflate such news and present them in a form of articles.

My mom warned me one day, ‘You are using Facebook right? Be careful in Facebook, it seems girls are conning guys by putting ‘beautiful photos’ and in the end killing them in a remote place. I read in this magazine. These days guys need to be careful’. I didn’t know whether to appreciate her affection towards me or to curse the non-awareness of her social networking usage. I remember my sister being warned for FB usage sometime back as putting a girls’ photo in the internet may invite more guys. I accept their concern but the way the information is falsely reported or incorrectly projected is definitely creating a false paradigm on things. One or two bad examples are subjugating the whole system in gutter. Exceptions cannot be examples.

Such cases have left a subterfuge in them about the internet way of doing things. I showcased my dad how it is easy to pay online and would take just 5 minutes for the whole process, by paying property tax online from the website’s net banking facility. My dad was also kind of elated, seeing the payment receipt which was generated in PDF and was available for quick download.

***

When will they learn and not disturb my weekend sleep!? 😉

Its my hike – by Born Jovial

This is a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the hike-retarded
I ain’t gonna be just a face in the ODC
You’re gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud

[Chorus:]
Give me hike
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna wait forever
I just want to get my hike
(It’s my hike)
My salary is like a bush in highway
Like Frankie said
Passion is my way
I just want to get my hike
It’s my hike.

This is for the ones who submitted timesheets
For blogs and compass who never went down(!)
Tomorrow’s getting late make no mistake
Luck ain’t even lucky
Got to send your own mails.

[Chorus:]
Give me hike
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna wait forever
I just want to get my hike
(It’s my hike)
My salary is like a bush in highway
Like Frankie said
Passion is my way
I just want to get my hike
It’s my hike.

Better send it all when we’re calling you out
Don’t bend, don’t break, ‘See’ baby, don’t back down

[Chorus:]
Give me hike
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna wait forever
I just want to get my hike
(It’s my hike)
My salary is like a bush in highway
Like Frankie said
Passion is my way
I just want to get my hike
‘Cause It’s my hike.

***

P.S: This is a customized parody of the song ‘Its my life‘ by Bon Jovi w.r.t the hikes that were yet to be announced few months ago!

Watte Changeover Mama – [Photography]

Time changes and so do us. There were quondam times when kids had time for some fun-and-frolic in the indoor games where…

The clinking jingles of Dayakattai,
reverberates the happiness when you get another chance to roll…

[Tamil]: Dhaya Kattai

The mind wrenching anxiety to get three in row,
in an enthralling game of tic-tac and toe!

Tic-Tac-Toe

Paramapadam pulls you up and pushes you down,
for the ultimate battle to heir the crown!

[Tamil]: Paramapatham

Pallanguzhi; The chozhis that dispense across the cavity,
in an anticipation to clear the pit full of anxiety!

[Tamil]: Pallaanguzhi

The labyrinth that leaves you lost, if the path is not found,
with the balls swirling in round and round and round!

Maze & Metal Balls

Such bliss would not appease the heart,
even when your kids swipe the screen at start,
where does the future of games shine?
When contemporary raged birds hitting on those swine! 😉

Angry Birds! :)

PS: Dayakattai: Indian Dice; Chozhi: Mini Sea Shells; Pallanguzhi: Traditional Mancala game from south India; Paramapadam: Snakes and ladders.
[CLICK ON THE IMAGES FOR MORE CLARITY]
***

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***

Soaring celsius, tender coconuts & orangillos

Something is bothering me for a long time from the time I had been commuting to MEPZ office. It’s the not the treacherous bus and tiring train journey that I’ve newly acquainted with, but the untiring, determined men who stand outside the MEPZ gate and tirelessly thrust those sheets of paper on you in an anticipation to get over with those pamphlets for which there must be some daily limit set by their bosses.

How rude to ignore them and walk away!

But the point is not yanking our hand, stuff those sheets into our backpack and create a small dumping ground in there, but the real botheration is all about facing them every f* morning when we hurry into the entrance, well barbequed by the scorching sun in this mid may of summer, walking all the way like a wet dog from the railway station to the MEPZ gate, desperately craving to get into those blessed cab and reach the SDB entrance, to gulp in conditioned air, flowing out from the façade, which sends some cooling beatitude to the epidermis bringing all our senses to tranquility.

When the weather is subjecting us to such a torture in the late morning of around 9.00 am, adding those pamphlet distributors to our rage and annoyance, I sincerely pity those men who indefatigably face our dismissal to their interest in handing us the blessed sheets. More than the weather which is molesting us with its intense Celsius and Candlas, I get highly cantankerous inside me, surrounded by 3 or 4 men preying with those arrays of papers. I seriously want to collar the bosses of those men and tell, ‘Dude, you seriously need to revamp your marketing strategy’. Come on guys, intruding the way of some hundred odd men and women and shoving the brochures on their face and expecting them to accept with interest is not going to work. Anyway, those papers will find their way to those sweepers again. Even if few accept and walk away, I promise within some 10 to 15 steps, it gets crushed and finds its way to the soil. Then, why distributing it at the first place?

They can very well set up a stall for such banking offers instead of tugging along each of the employees passing the gates. I feel bad to get back to a person who says no to my plea. I was contemplating on what stress those people would undergo when subjected to such denial on a daily basis.

***

This summer season has pretentiously affected a positive increase in my expenditure towards keeping my body cool and protecting me from the photons that’s being expectorated by the sun.

  • First, with the ever increase in the intensity of the sunlight; it has become more difficult to walk on the roads without squinting my eyes which in turn strains my contractile aperture in the center of the iris muscles in the eyes. Thanks to Fastrack shades which is been a source of eye protection for me for the past one and a half month in the morning glaring sun.
  • I am indeed grateful to the roadside tender coconut vendor opposite to the sanatorium flyover on the way from railway station. I’ve been regular customer to him demanding ‘Neraya thanni irukkura Elaneer’ (Tender coconut with more water!) whenever I cross the signal to reach MEPZ gate. He is now well known to me as he started giving me coconuts in a subsidized rate of 30 rupees unlike a normal cost of 35. He says, the ‘kaai’ (the coconut in a generic term) is not fresh as in containing more water than usual, so he is selling in a discounted price of Rs.5 less. But then, it’s not just some stale one. It’s just that the size is little small. Well he starts giving some gyaan when I start sipping, about the logistics and quality of the coconut which is been delivered to him and some general merchandising policies and stuffs. Inspired by his speech, I become inclined to give some of my IT gyaans about off-shoring software projects and US clients, but considering the writhing heat that sautés my face and other internal organs, I prefer keeping my mouth shut and quickly finish off the water and walk away with some great relief to my internal mucous membranes being wetted with the tender coconut water. *Aah watte bliss*
  • I would be failing in my duties if I don’t extend my thanks to the CCD vendor whose mini shop sits right in between in the SDB1 backyard and Cafeteria block. The daily afternoon post lunch dose of transparent orange-colored-crushed-iced ‘Orangillo’, the reddish glassy crushed ice ‘Guava Splash’ or the golden ‘Lemon Ice Tea’ drinks which he has been showering on me and on some of my friends, who under the garb of taking a sip from mine, finish off half the plastic glass, serves an afternoon quota of summer antibiotic against heating up of my body. I basically being a hot guy (*ahem ahem* *cough cough*), need such extra cooling reagents to keep my body under normal state and to prevent getting dehydrated with frequent visits to loo and exposure to sunlight.
  • I’ve started wearing caps from Railway station to MEPZ entrance till I get into the shuttle. I feel like a clown wearing a full formals plus a cap amidst the skinny women covered fully in face with the stole and a butterfly shades covering their eyes with a pink umbrella giving a shade to them! Watte fashion faux pas I am being subjected to in this summer! I seriously wanted to wear that fedora hats adorned by men in pubs and night clubs but I don’t wanna look like a mockery item that can be laughed and grimaced at. I know I am not in England, I am in Singara Chennai!
  • I’ve started developing dark patches in my forehead due to exposure to sunlight. I am bit photo-allergic. Guess the sun burns specific areas of my skin. I also started worrying about getting bi-colored. My hands and face have become little dark than those unexposed parts of my body (FYI. areas covered by shirt and pant – arms and torso in specific. Not get persuaded by other thoughts! :P). Now some ointment is doing its job to heal those patches in my forehead as prescribed by a skin specialist. I had to wear full sleeves though I have a couple of half sleeve shirts. I sometime feel like a vampire (read Twilight Cullen types) who is afraid of getting exposed to sunlight and prefer dark and air conditioned rooms! This is the problem of being a fair complexioned guy! *sigh*

With such extra expenses, I have ended up with a low balance in my bank balance. Hopefully this trend will change with the end of May and I end up with more leftovers which can be used along with the next month salary.

One good thing is I’ve started drinking more and more of water in a day – almost the full and a half of that Cognizant flask like metal water bottle which I got some time back.

Well, waiting for this may to get over and have some or little easiness in June. With the hikes being announces officially, let’s see if it does some good to my wallet and pockets (Uff pockets reminds of something else! Let’s discuss that separately!)

Alright folks, lets catch-up again with some other topic in my next post, until then Ciao!

Do you remember me?

I’m back!

“Where did I go?” I can hear voices. THREE months of banishment!!!!!!

Banished?

Well yeah, sheer laziness has crept in!! 😐

I’ve become a sophomore!

I completed 1 year at Cognizant on Feb 23 2012. When I look back and recollect the time when I stepped into this C world, I had this benign sensation of the butterflies flickering inside my tummy reminding me of the newness around me – the unfamiliar environment, the ODCs and air-conditioned buildings reeking sudden unfamiliarity, the posters of Cognizant trying to fit the letter ‘C’ everywhere possible like in the body of Cheetah, in the human fingers, in the boat rowing in a sea etc etc,. I had to admit that this is going to be my life forever. Though I felt like a shy bahu entering the in-law’s house post marriage, I slowly started getting used to the aroma of the environment around me. I started feeling myself to be a part of it and Cognizant to be a part of me – each of us within ourselves.

I was consciously walking around the corridors and lobbies with the Identity card dangling around my neck. But now I’m Cognizant of things around me – the cognizance acquired out of association with people here. They have given me a good dose of ‘Feel at Home’ syrups. I am now feeling transformed, an out of transient state and no more get a sense of awkwardness settling in my stomach.

***                                                     

Lawns, Elevators & WCs

It’s been almost 2 months, MEPZ welcomed me into its happening campus, sprawling its lush green flora & fauna and its ‘colorful delights’ into everyone’s hearts so placidly and soothingly. I’m kinda loving this place. It has professional lobbies to so so breezy lawns, you forget that you are in a corporate setting and will never give a thought to stretch your legs and hands reclining in a comfortable position in the lush green lawns, chatting away with your bunch of friends, equally adoring the chill evening breeze, caressing your facial muscles & hair strands, during the evening tea break, which relaxes you from the tiring job or a stressful work which you have been carrying out all day.

One of the few things which brings in a small frown is the 9 floors, plus the ‘wait’ that we had to religiously do by pressing the UP or DOWN arrow and blatantly stare at the orange LED which shows the current position of the elevator, also worrying about the probability of the cute chick, who will be waiting along, getting a space in the same lift. There have been instances when there will be ‘no more space in the directory’ of the elevator and that one chick has to step back giving an uneasy glance to the techies onboard, leaving me in a claustrophobic metal enclosure, ascending me up and up and up the floors!

Talking about enclosures, reminds me of one more of the uncomfortable zones in MEPZ – they are the blessed Restrooms. I wonder why those WCs are enclosed in a pretty open build – guess they misunderstood it for open source. I see no closed ceilings and there is a big gap at the top and bottom of the door. When I see the big picture, I realize that they have built 4-side cardboard wall like structure around every WC, the walls being well elevated from the ground. Come on, I sense my privacy intrusion there. It’s a devastating breach in my right to excise posterior duties and such open environment will reveal the aural reverberations associated with it, which will create unnecessary repercussions in the neighboring WC mate’s ear drums and nasal cavities. The claustrophobic elevators are de-claustrophobed by such WCs. Now I believe the existence of matter and anti-matter theories of particle physics!

***

Well, nothing much…I’ve done some good to my photography side as well. I’ve loads of snaps. These three months of idleness have put my blogger side in a sleep mode due to which I’ve gained heavy amount of laziness and some gymming made me loss a quite an amount of flab. It gives a good feeling. My BMI is in a safe range.

Alright folks lets catch-up in my next post. Until then happy blogging!