Shhh – The Secret Desires

Shhh!!

Who doesn’t have a secret desire or rather a desirous secret!

Back in kindergarten, a small boy would have had the secret desire to deceive the teacher’s eyes and run back home, escaping from the torture of repeating every line of rhymes, sung horribly by the teacher or writing A, B, C in those multicoloured four lined notebooks in a devastatingly tedious cursive handwriting. He also had the secret desire to escape from his mom’s wrath, when he playfully, carelessly loses his Geometry box in the school premises, even sometimes flicked by a notoriously naughty brat in his class.

*sigh*

Back in college days, every guy would have had a secret desire to win the pinky rose and cute heart of that-one-girl-from-city who never ceases to amuse them with her round inquisitive eyes and her sweet little lips which slips, dips and pouts at instances which guys never forget to remember. The desire to secretly encroach her heart, by helping her out with the for-loops, structures and polymorphisms in the computer laboratory periods with frequent ‘groundnuts’ charring in the conversations as if indigenously borne in each one of them, leaving others to gape in flaming awe and to many’s dismay.

*sigh*

Back in corporate training days, every single, yeah read as ‘single’ guys, who have failed to experience those sweet secrets – koo-chi-koo talks, late night SMS-ing her, weekend ‘enjoy maadi’ to Mayajaal, Satyam and Mahabalipuram, would have had a desperate desire – a secret desire rather, to get clandestinely committed to that one chick in the hall, who always completes her assignments in time and spends the remaining time in her mobile phone sandwiched intact in between her palms and ears. They even have a desire to walk casually with her to the office Food courts, Canteen, Coffee Machines, Coffee Cafe Days and to building lobbies to read newspaper and to hold their head high with pride and fall into the prejudice of incinerating their friends’ and onlookers’ stomach. Little did they know that, they are one among the many who hang out with her and not the only one hanging out with her!

*sigh*

Back in real testing times, when work piles up and tortures you with the ‘Kumbibaagam’ retribution as in “Garuda Puranam’, you have a secret desire for the client to drop a mail to you informing that he doesn’t want that particular functionality to be implemented in the module which is torturing you to hell. You even have a secret desire to show case to your manager, your extent of putting ‘extra efforts’ to fulfil the year’s goals by stretching more than one’s capability.

When the project gets implemented successfully and mails float to and fro from onsite to offshore, you have that ‘secret desire’ to find your name in the mail with a special mention for your dedication and commitment. Little did you know that few months later, some unfortunate cursed soul will be banging his head, to fix the fatal bug in the code cursing you – the code which you had worked day and night, invariably adds to your adversity.

*sigh*

Now, every blogger will have a secret desire to get 100s of comments in his blog for all the crap he writes and would refresh and check his mail every other second for the mail alert from the blog. The desire even secretly builds up to such an extent that it desires a dedicated Facebook page for your blog and 1000s of people ‘Liking’ it multiplying your fame to infinity!

Desires are easily mutable. It exists in every form and in every place. They are not controllable and acts like an unstable Uranium isotope. It is up to us to use cadmium or indium control rods of common sense well ahead, to prevent the uncontrolled fission reactions bursting later on!

So what’s your recent secret Desire?

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100 posts of blogging!

OMG I didn’t realize my previous post was the 100th post & I’ve been awarded. This is the best thing that can happen to a blogger! All along I’ve been blogging one post after the other without noticing the post count or the comments count.

I would like to thank each and every one of you for patiently reading my blog without much bothering about me nagging you sometime or the other to read my blog or the story which I’ve scribbled. Without you and your encouragement and some discouragement from few other people, it wouldn’t have been possible for me to reach this milestone in blogging. My heartfelt thanks and gratitude to each one of you – random strangers, frequent visitors, and dedicated followers to have helped me reach this height.

As all of you and I myself know I’m very much lazy, I just wondering how can such things happen. See 100 posts is not just some target. It needs some constant source of persistence and patience to consistently think and write things.

After several hours of thinking and speculating about the source of inspiration and determination to write 100 posts, one thing that clearly hit my conscious which was none other than my blog reader’s and my friend’s encouragement and criticisms that throttled me to achieve such things. I sincerely bow to you all for giving me an opportunity to explore the inner self and unveil or rather unearth my talent to churn out stories and random thoughts that sway in my brittle mind.

Here are some stats

Graph representing number of visitors in each month from Jan 2009 to June 2011

Number of visitors in each month from 2006 to 2011

Average visitors per day in for each month from 2006 to 2011

Hmmm!

In this occasion, I would like to give you all some insight on my blogging experience till date.

How it all started?

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Drifting away!

Have you ever noticed that the life is just drifting away slowly leaving you behind in some sort of confused and ever nagging loneliness? This feeling starts hitting you when you miss your friends, friends who have been your part and parcel of your life, with whom you have spent all your time and one day they all are gone away and you are left alone to your self. You get to meet new people with whom you are forced to make friendship or sometimes it just happens due to similarity in thoughts or due to interactions that makes it necessary to extend the hands of friendship. Well everyone will have to pass through this situation. You become so nostalgic and would subject oneself to constant rewinding of past incidents through photos stored in your hard disks or videos taken in your mobile phones.

The sheer thoughts about your college days brings back the hero in you. The days spent with friends keep flashing in your mind and your mind starts drifting itself into its past. Friends always stay near you at some point of time. You hang out with them, talk with them, go for trips, treats and eat outs. This creates an itch in your mind that keeps itching you, making you addicted to them. You start loving their company and  would want to meet them as frequently as possible. This is just like a recursion logic that keeps calling itself until one day it finds a condition to terminate that loop. Life also provides such conditions for people.

As I’ve already said in my previous post about “moving on” in life. So the life keeps moving on and so are the people in our lives. Many of them change company, some change the country. This happens one by one with the people in our lives, leaving you stranded in a lonely island full of new people. You miss their calls, messages. The numbers stored in your mobile phone’s contact list becomes obsolete one by one and each one of them gets removed from the “fwd msg” distribution list. The local number becomes a national one and the national number sometimes becomes a Skye contact. You have to depend on Gtalk, Skype and various other social networking medium to contact them and talk with them.

You slowly realise that, you are growing up and your are somewhere in the mid twenties. All college and school students become “kids” and you hate people shouting and chatting loudly in the buses. Group talk becomes nuisance and you prefer silence in the buses and cars. You prefer plugging into some iPod or mp3 players and listen to music rather than having a talk with someone sitting beside you. You realise that you have conversed so loudly and laughed so much in the bus when you were with your best buddies and everyone sitting around you turned and gave a cheap stare at you. Now that you have become one among them staring at loudly talking people. You have become a “Grownup”!!

One day, you realise that all your friends who joined with you in the company you are working, have left one by one and you have to remove them from the official instant messaging list. Their official email ID becomes obsolete and you practically understand that when you receive a message from the postmaster with the subject “Failure Delivery – Couldn’t find the address or mailbox doesn’t exists”. Friends are a major part of our lives. We spend time with them and share almost everything with them – likes, dislikes, food, money and even crushes. Our mind is reluctant to accept the fact that, we cannot be always with them. We have to move on.

Life keeps us busier always with something or the other. First its the school where we made friends. Later we finished schooling, wrote slam books, shared contact number and email IDs. Then we joined college, again made friends, had lot of fun, shared our lives in and out in classrooms, canteens, labs, mukku kadai-s and in hostels and mess. But we never felt the distance anytime. Even when we get jobs and start working, we keep in touch with them though forward messages, group mails, weekend meet-ups and movies. But when the life gets more busier, we find less time for all that. Weekends becomes “Dorm-ing days”. We sleep, sleep and sleep out of hectic-ness that has crept into our life. Everyone becomes busy. Some move on for higher studies and some change jobs and some get married. Your friends circle shrinks its diameter and at one point of time it becomes a straight line.

Friends at work come to your rescue. Again you start living with a new circle of friends and this time the diameter keeps increasing and you again start enjoying your time with the friends. Chatting with them for long, hanging out in the weekends, movies and much more. You even find your girl. In-spite of such new relationships, you enjoy being with your friends. Life moves swiftly with college friends at one side and your work friends on the other side.

One fine day, you find your job sucks big time and you desperately want a change. A change that will bring a big change in your life. You think about it and finally make a decision to change your job. Fiasco sets in and you start missing all your friends again. You are not just changing your job but altogether moving away from all of them with whom you have been with, for the part years. Now that you are losing your own official mail ID which you have acquired long back and to which your inbox gets flooded with heaps of “Forward mails”. Again you become sentimental. You curse God for making you missing friends. You leave and find a new job. Now you find yourself stranded in a place of unknown people. You find everything new. you have to get accustomed to new way of living and working. You miss your old cubicle and your company. You start saying “It wasn’t the way it is here…”. You envy on people who hangs out in gangs and laughs out loud (Yea the same LOL!). You are just left to yourself. You have to eat your breakfast and lunch in the food courts alone. You don’t know where to keep the soiled plates. You don’t know in which counter you have to get the ordered item in the FC. You consciously walk towards the hand wash area. You realise that people around you are staring at you with the “just joined” or “new guy here” looks. *Sigh* what a comfort zone I’ve created for myself and now I’ve come out of it. You have to make new friends again.

You again wish for all your old companions. You see everyone is worried about their families. You see all your colleagues talking about their son or daughter. You are put into constant speculation about things around and about yourself. You are not the one you were some two or three years before. You find yourself still worrying about your friends. You then realise that you have to start worrying about yourself. You have to start working towards supporting yourself. You are a grown up now. You are no more a kid or immature just-out-of-college guy. No one likes your SMS, few likes them very much and asks you, “Why didn’t you send any messages. I was waiting for them”. You laugh at yourself. You still have hopes to be a kiddish, carefree, lazy, sleepy immature boy. You keep reminding yourself of not to become one of those serious, worried and always complaining jerks. You still remain a happy, friendly, always-smiling, humorous chap who would want to be open with everyone you meet in your life and create an interesting chapter of them. You make new friends and keep adding them to your “Besshht Friendssss” list.

Life is just drifting away. There is no time for hatred, jealous or regrets. Keep yourself open and welcome everyone. Love them all till you find friendship and love everywhere around you and you are fully drenched on it.

Thank you all my friends for becoming a good chapter in the pages of my book. You are “THE BEST”. You have made my life worthy and cherishable. “Hello” to all my future friends who would start making an entry into my pages of my life. Welcoming you all.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

Be cheerful and love all!!

Which ‘Mate’ are you?

In the world full of strangers and acquaintances, we tend to get introduced ourselves to bunch of people who become our friends, in a due course of time after few of those repetitive “Hi”s and “Hello”s. According to the world of computing, indexing helps us to access data better. Similarly according to Kally (please do not search Google or Wikipedia on who is Kally, its none other than me), it is easier to keep in touch with the people, if we categorize them

Well, I scratched my brains/kidney, whatever you would like to call, sometime back to index (If the word index sounds to be so techy, lemme put this in layman terms to be so simple – classify. Hope now I made myself simple!!) People based on how I relate to those strangers-who-become-friends-later. I’ve tried my best to classify people based on my observation. Lemme see how much successful I’m in capturing my observation in the following paragraphs.

1. School-mates

These form an elite group of friends to whom we were introduced at an early stages of life. They are those with whom we had shared our lunch, our friends (I meant – my friend A, is also his friend. His friend B, who is also my friend :P), our workbooks, our maps, pencils, crayons, water bottle, pencil sharpener and labels which we stick on the cover of out note books bearing Name, Class, Section, School. Subject and a image of Winnie the Pooh, Sachin Tendulkar, Shaktimaan to one of its side. We would have spent time with them playing Mario-G, Clay-hunt, and Contra in 2 player mode in the Television set.

So there are chances that you couldn’t keep in touch with these categories of people due to area change, location change or even school change. After you change your school, you may have lost in touch with those people to some extent or you could have ended up in a college in a remote place outside your hometown because you being a “good-obedient-disciplined-student” would have obliged to your parent’s advice of getting admitted to the college as it would have been so popular and had good campus placements (as few years back, good campus placements were a great concern to parents). Later when we introduce them to one of our current friends, we used to say

“Hey, meet John; he is my school-mate”

Thus the school mates have some special place in our hearts as they bring back our childhood memories.

2. College-mates

college

College mates form an essential part of our college life, as they constitute the age of life where we realize ourselves. We undergo biological changes physically and mentally. The more realization happens when we choose friends from the group of around thousands. The gang with whom we spend time, go around, have fun and all things around us, determines who we are. Since at that age group we tend to attain adolescence and  they form an emotional ingredient of our life. What kind of chemical reactions that has to happen purely depends on the fellow friends whom we choose.

So college mates are those with whom we would have spent sleepless nights burning the Tube light and Study lamps (I’m sick of following the age old saying “Burning the midnight oil”) one day before the semester exams. The group studies wouldn’t have been possible at any cost. They would have entered your life in the late teens, but that has made a profound impact on your social life after.

After college days, the way you see things completely changes. The style of the outfit that adorns you, are a complete reflection of what you see yourself as a person – socially mingle-able and acceptable in a gang of friends. The so called stinky coconut hair oil which you would have applied, has found a cozy place in your room’s topmost shelf covered with the cobwebs. The stick like comb that you would have used in school days has transformed itself into a flashy roller which indirectly stands responsible for your receding hairline! Introduction of new products such as perfumes, body sprays, Anne French etc brings drastic changes in you.

Few things you would have expected and few things happen just unexpectedly. Whatever it is, they occupy the major portions of life knowingly or unknowingly

All because of your college mates!

3. Class-mates


This category of people in your life comes wherever you happen to sit in a bench and listen to the instructor or a teacher. They had already come into your life through the schools and colleges. Now, anybody who sits beside you where ever it may be, you would have smiled a bit or exchanged a conversation with them. After people get into some job, I’ve seen them still wander in the streets with a small backpack full of study materials, calculators and cell phones to all study centers, which attract students wooing them for coaching MBA, MS and all other courses under the sky. People still want to sit in a bench and listen to someone. So the point is, people who come across such situations when you yourself enroll into courses and sit in the class are crowned as classmates!

So you can in general introduce him/her to your friend as “So she is Akshaya, my classmate”

Some even go to the extent of associating them with themselves as coaching class mate.

4. Bench-mates

This category is actually a sub category of above ones. Whoever sits beside you in a class, he/she is deemed to be your bench mate. After exchanging surprising looks at her or him, the relationship extends to a level of having a Coffee together in one of the posh Coffee Shops in the city, unlike the roadside Kaveri Snacks & Tea shop and when someone asks you,

“Hey who is she…?”

And you search your tiny brain for the introductory relationship of the girl, getting reminded of the RDBMS relationship diagram, you find your query results a return code of 100, which means “NO RESULTS FOUND”. Finally you end up saying

“Well, she is my Bench mate!”

5. Bus-mates

This is a new category of people I’ve found in my life recently. As I travel in my Office Bus daily morning, to commute to office and take the same, to return home in the evening, I get to see few new faces occupying the bus, except some of the regular users of the route. So initially, you would not initiate a spark to strike a conversation with them. In the due course of time, both of you know each other without having spoken to any and there will be a strange feeling of belongingness with them. Sometime, you feel as if, only when they board the bus, your mind will get peace and reassure yourself to have got into the correct route bus.

In few occasions, when you have to help the ones sitting beside you in the seat, such as closing the window slide glass, in case of rain starts pouring heavily or the gush of air is so fast and the girl or a guy is unable to shut it. You extend your help to close the same and succeed in accomplishing the task.

“Thank You..”

“You are Welcome..”

That’s how it all starts – a conversation with a stranger, who has been working in the same company, but you haven’t spoken to them. It is just the opening of opportunities to interact with the new bunch of people around you. In this process of knowing people, few people get become so close and find a place in your mobile phone’s forward-MSG-distribution-list. Some just smile and say Hi and Bye and some keep winking at you. Some give you biscuits and chocolates and even murukkus and sweets, some keep themselves buried in the novels and some plug in the iPods and music players and doze off. So all those who we encounter daily in the bus and one day when you happen to meet your college friend or school friend and you happen to introduce this bus friend, you can’t just tell them he/she is your friend. You need to tell them how you are associated with them.

I always end up saying, “Well, this is my bus mate!”

“Ugh?…”

Sometimes, the person always sits beside you or you end up sitting beside him or her and a small belongingness of friendship sprouts. We even go to the extent of branding the person as “Seat mate”

6. Room-mates

Yea forgot to tell about them – room-mates!

They are the strangers who are yet to become our friends, with whom we share the hostel rooms or mansion rooms. These people span over all the above categories. A friend who is a college mate can be our roommate in the college hostels and people who work with us in the company can share the room with us, if we are not staying in our hometown. Some call them as roomies. They pay the rent, current bill, laundry bill, paper bill etc on a sharing basis. We spend day and night chit chatting with them. They cook for us and sometimes we take the risk of cooking for them. All this happens with them.

So they form the Room mates!

7. Blog-mates

Earlier days, we had something called Pen Friends, where people share their mailing address (postal snail mail!! I know I need to be explicit here because, most of them misunderstand this to emailing address) in the newspapers. I still remember a separate column for pen friends in the ‘The Hindu’ newspaper supplementary. You can write posts to them and post it to their address. They will reply to you by composing a mail and they will post it back to your address. This was the practice they followed sometime back to make pen friends. Now, the trend has changed. As many of them have started writing, they now depend on the internet and write what is the so called, BLOGSSSSSSS!!!  Yesssss….It is the one, which you are reading in your lappy or in the desktop. As many of them write and share ideas, information, photos, music and everything under the sky (I know, I have used this expression some paras before!!), people have started making new set of friends called Blog-mates J

Others

There are other categories of people with whom you do not share anything, but they always accompany you. One such instance is the morning walk along the beach. You meet them daily, and both of you walk with your dogs and finally when parting you say a simple Bye or sometimes not even that. Sometimes, this helps our pet dogs to find a new friend – a dog friend. Even when we forget them, they still remember each other and exchange a bark or a lick. We see many of us make friends during morning walk. Many of them consistently come for the morning walk at a particular time and leave at a particular time. So those categories of people can be called as Morning-walk-mate

We can keep deriving the category of ‘mates’ similar to the mathematical formulas. There are other categories of people such as Gym-mate, shopping-mate, and this list goes on according to ones tastes!!

Thus to conclude this long categorization of people, I would say, in this world where we live with unknown people, with whom we need to live in harmony, we have to grab every opportunity to establish a good relationship with the ones whom we meet and greet. We can’t be good to everyone; at least we need not be bad to them. So keep yourself open to new friends and make yourself comfortable with them and make them comfortable. Keep smiling and make others smile.

Hi, are you a stranger reading this blog? This is Kally. How are you? Wanna be friends? I’m game!

And forgot to ask you, which mate are you?

P.S: Please don’t ask me who is Check Mate??

Short Story: Crazy Simi

Prologue

Girls are crazy sometimes. I don’t want to make any general statements as I do not want to earn hatred from girls who are reading this.

I’m going to talk about a girl who wanted to be a guy!

She really did not mean it. But she simply wanted to be a guy because that may alleviate her from small troubles that she faces with the world around her.

***

The Chat

But seriously, if u write too much no one will have time to read and they may not know that u r leaving….” I pinged her.

She was a great blogger who writes real life incidents in an interesting way. All that amused her, impressed her, the things which made her weep, the ones which made her embarrassed, she writes everything. Life is to live and to learn things. And the best part is to share things. The late night talks with roomies with black coffee and tea. The daily late night TV remote wars and the all time menace due to unscrupulous maintenance of water supplies in the apartment which few girls share in Pune.

***

Click the “Read more…” link below to read the rest of the story

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